


find you

by xuxilove



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Ending, Soulmates, Suicide, don't read if ur easily triggered by death pls, i was really sad and wrote markhyuck sorry, idk what else to tag this as but yeah, markhyuck, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxilove/pseuds/xuxilove
Summary: mark is comforted by his golden boy.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	find you

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wrote this really sad drabble bc i was a sad drabble. it's like really emotional and could possibly be triggering if you have thoughts of suicide or death.

The moon was bright and the sky clear of everything, even stars. Mark thought it to be ironic when there were no stars, as his star wasn’t visible either. Mark let out a breath, the air was bitter and a cloud of his breath was visible as he sighed. He shivered a little, he wasn’t used to feeling the cold, but now it crept inside him, shocked his bones. Mark was sat on the sidewalk, he was a while away from home, he’d walked for hours just to feel something, he’d waited all week for a sign, but none came until tonight.

“You’re shivering.” A warm voice said next to him, the voice dripped like honey down his spine, the voice was warm but the presence was not, he turned to face the golden boy next to him.  
“You always feel warm, why aren’t you warm right now?” Mark asked, his voice shaking due to the cold weather but also the shock of the pretty face that joined him.  
“It’s cold, Mark, you’ll feel that way too. Come on.” Donghyuck stood and held a hand out for Mark, he accepted and shivered again at the cool touch of Donghyuck. “You’ll get used to it.” Donghyuck said, although Mark wasn’t quite sure what he meant.

Mark and Donghyuck stood staring at each other for a moment, like they hadn’t seen the other in so long, like a lifetime had passed, although it was only a week ago they shared their last kiss.  
“I don’t like it here, Hyuck.” Mark looked into his golden boys eyes, the eyes that never lied to him, the eyes that had stared directly into his soul, the eyes that kept him up at night.  
“It’s hard here, isn’t it?” Donghyuck’s voice shook how Mark’s had earlier, his voice growing colder like his presence.  
“Is it easier there?” Mark shuddered as he asked the question, Donghyuck pulled him closer by the hand, so close their foreheads touched. They stayed silent for a moment, Mark felt his eyes start to burn, the tears dropping down his cheeks, Donghyuck smiled and wiped them away using his sweater paw, something he’d always done.

Donghyuck was always taking care of him, often feeling like the younger was way beyond Mark in age and attitude. Mark felt small around Donghyuck, but not in the intimidated, condescending way. Mark felt warm and cared for, he’d curl up into a ball or lay on Donghyuck’s lap just to be embraced by his soft but intensely strong energy. If Mark had ever felt any sense of happiness, it would’ve been because of Donghyuck. Mark supposes that’s what may have brought them together, the pairs relationship with happiness and stability wasn’t as easy as the relationship they had with each other. Mark had never posed the question to Donghyuck though, he’d rather bask in the younger boys affection, being doted on every moment they were together.

They walked hand in hand, Mark wasn’t sure where the destination was but he trusted in Donghyuck to know where to go. Donghyuck wasn’t his usual talkative self, throwing sly remarks at the people that passed them or sarcastic replies to Mark’s typically obvious questions. There were none of those, he hummed slightly as they walked, but nothing distinguishable for Mark to clutch onto. Mark found himself unable to bare the silence, he squeezed the hand that held his and looked into the eyes he used to drown in. Donghyuck stayed silent as he stared back at the soft face he loved to hold.  
“How did you know?” Mark asked, his voice smaller than he could have imagined. Donghyuck looked back into the distance, away from Mark’s doe eyes filled with worry.  
“I saw you.” He offered in response, letting out a sigh, knowing he’d have to continue. “You’ve been cold huh?” Mark nodded slightly. “You’ve been sat for hours and I knew I had to come for you, Mark.” Donghyuck finished, his voice cracked when he said the others name.  
“What if I had left? You wouldn’t have come? You wouldn’t even have tried?” Mark gritted his teeth in order to not let his tears fall, he tried to blink away the burning sensation in his eyes and the closed up feeling in his throat.  
“That’s not they way it works, Mark. I wanted to come to you before, but there’s a force that doesn’t enable us to visit, I desperately wanted to see you.” Donghyuck squeezed Mark’s hand and looked back into his eyes, he thought he’d see sorrow, but he saw surprise instead.  
“Oh. I-I didn’t know.” Was all Mark said, Donghyuck just simply nodded. “I still want to know how, though. How did you know to come tonight?” Mark bit his lip, like he was afraid of the response he might get from his golden boy.  
“It’s not like there’s an alarm, or a date on a calendar, I just knew, Mark. I did get told that when you’re soulmates, that’s how it works.” Donghyuck gave Mark a small smile, which made Mark’s heart race.  
“Soulmates.” Mark repeated quietly. “I always wondered if that’s what we were.”  
Donghyuck shook his head at Mark, his smile slightly wider now, but sadness still in his eyes. “Not what we were Mark, it’s what we are.”

After a while they continued walking, they were near the pier, it was a place they’d been to together often, but Mark found himself here alone more and more. They walked closer to the ocean, Mark only just noticed Donghyuck was barefoot, he always took his shoes off when they came here, either leaving them in Mark’s car or making Mark carry them. It was November so the water was in the minus, too cold for them to dip their feet, but that didn’t stop Donghyuck. He let go of Mark’s hand and ran towards the sea. Mark heard his giggle, it gave him chills. 

Mark sat down on the sand, he watched Donghyuck splash in the freezing water, the tide was slow and the wind was so, so cold, it amazed him that Donghyuck could stand it. Donghyuck stood still for a second, and stared at Mark, he reached out both of his arms and made grabby hands, something he always did when he wanted affection. Mark couldn’t resist, there was a pull that just made him stand up and cross the sand to get to his precious boy. Mark supposed that was another perk of being soulmates. He kicked off his shoes before dipping his feet into the water, it was freezing like he thought, the sensation shocked his feet and made them ache, but he continued the journey despite the pain he felt in his body, but he gathered it would be gone soon, and the pain would be worth it once he was in Donghyuck’s arms.

“Hyuck, it get’s easier, right?” Donghyuck smiled his loving smile and walked out as far as he could until the water was up to his neck. Mark followed, each step harder than the last. He reached Donghyuck and smiled, his teeth chattering while he did so. Donghyuck welcomed him in his arms and they embraced each other for a moment. Then Donghyuck pulled away and intertwined their hands once again to pull Mark further out. Mark was getting tired, the cold had shocked his body but he couldn’t feel anything now, nothing except Donghyuck’s hands. They pushed themselves back until they were floating, staring up at the moon, he thought again about the fact that there were no stars, but couldn’t cling on to the idea for long.  
One of his hands was free from Donghyuck’s now, but Mark clutched onto the other one tightly, the tiredness was really starting to hit him, his eyes kept closing and opening back up to star at the moon.

“Meet me there?” Mark asked quietly, not knowing if he was even audible at this point, but Donghyuck responded.  
“I’ll always find you, Mark.” He whispered quietly as Mark felt the freezing sensation take over his body, eyes becoming extremely heavy, he was letting go. Mark finally felt Donghyuck’s hand leave his, he smiled weakly, knowing that Donghyuck would meet him soon, he couldn’t be there when Mark left, but he’d see him soon.

“I’ll always find you, Donghyuck.”


End file.
